9 Ways to Caffeinate your life: a deep dive into the impact of coffee, tea, and yerba mate

Together with the coffee-at-tea expert, ChatGPT, as the expert witness to the effects, both positive and warnings, minus the funny bits, like figuring out how to do the 💩emoji 🤣.

1 & 7. Yerba Mate

Loosely translated by some Argentinians as "The Herb". This savory tea beverage is not for those who need that sugar rush in the morning, but enjoy the smoky flavor of a dark tea. Yerba has about the same level of caffeine as your standard cup of joe, but without the shakiness that comes with your double-pump latte from the Bux. Yerba water is set to the same as the green tea setting on the #3 temperature-controlled water heater, also known as 175F. That water heater is amazing, it even has a button that says "hold temp", which when pressed, keeps the temp steady for up to 30 minutes. Brilliant. You then take the hot water and pour it slowly over the herb that is in the mate cup pointed to in 7.1. If you are on the go you can pour it into the thermos with the Grafana GaaS logo in 7.2. This loses about 10 degrees in 2 hours, not bad.

Positive vibes of "The Herb"


Don't drink, I repeat, NO Drinky the Herby, if you need a quiet morning because this will light a fire under your ass. You will not be able to stay in a solid state, you become liquid flowing motion. Perfect for long creative sessions, like writing this blog post.

2. The Royal Tea Set

Also known as "The Queens Tea", Earl Grey is my go-to for the weekends. It's so chill and has about 1/2 the caffeine that the Argentinian Yerba brother. I brew this at boiling, which is another setting of #3. Brew for about 5 minutes, then pull the leaves. This tea is good at this temperature for about 1 hour in that cast iron container.

The Positive Calming Drink


If you are looking for a chill morning, go with the earl, if you want to write a wicked long blog post or crank out that code task, see #1.

4. Old Man Drip

This has been a staple in our household for the past 20 years, it has been passed down for generations, well not this exact one, but the tradition. I typically go with a medium-roasted to light-roasted blend which has amazing aroma. I can't have more than 2 cups of this, otherwise, I'd be writing to you from the toilet. Getting old is fun, lotta 💩 jokes. To be clear, I'm writing to you from my desk.

The Benefits


If you have too much, it'll slow you down by having to run to the porta potty every 15-20 minutes. If you have back-to-back meetings, which I know a thing or two about, just don't do it.

5. Lazy Man's Esspresso Machine, Nespresso


6. Hipster Pour Over Coffee Maker

Time Suck

7/1. Mate, see #1

GOTO #1.

8. AeroPress

Now my list of coffee and tea gadgets would not be complete without an AeroPress.

5.2 Frothers

Holy shit I almost forgot my Nespresso Frother. It has 4 settings, cold, warm, bubbles, and lotta bubbles. It's amazing, I call it fluffy and it does like warm hugs.

To continue the convo with ChatGPT, Here is the thread.


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